A New Day

The end of January is nearing and I realize that I have not even considered goals for 2009. I'm not sure I have been ready to even think about that before now. I have been in such a dark place that I hadn't wanted to think about the future. It was depressing to me. I'm still not sure that I have a clear picture of where I want to go in 2009, but I am in a better place and believe I can begin to think about 2009 in a more positive way.

I realize that I have some really good friends ... many of them I have met through going to scrapbooking crops and others through message boards. Then, I have my tried and true friends that I have met through work and others that I have known for years. What is amazing to me is the strength of character that so many of these women possess and display on a daily basis. They are strong on the inside and are able to let that strength shine through.

I am grateful for these friends ... particularly those that don't judge me when I rant and rave and struggle with some of the stupid people in my life. Instead, they tell me like it is, give me a hug, and let me know they understand how hard my struggle is and are there for me. Right now I can't handle harsh criticism. I break down in tears, which is unusual for me ... at least in this area of my life. I feel at a low that I haven't felt in a really long time.

But, this too shall pass. I will make it through by the grace of God and through the strength of those around me. I simply need to be strong enough to lean on them until I feel strong enough on my own.

So, to my friends ... in real life and virtual ... I love you and thank you.

A New Year

A good friend reminded me that I hadn't blogged in a while. She was right. I've avoided blogging, because I felt I was in such a bad place emotionally that I didn't want to burden people with my negativity and pain. Then, I re-read some of my earlier posts ... particularly my letter to Baby Virginia Ruth. I realized something at that moment.

This blog is mine. It's ultimately for me. It's not to entertain the general public. It's there to help me get things out, so my blood pressure doesn't stay up. It's there to help me sort things out, so I can make informed decisions about my life. It's there to share my thoughts with my friends, so they know where I am right now ... emotionally, mentally, and physically. It's there for me to have a showcase for my scrapping and photos.

So, for those that read my blog, I hope you'll stick with me through this rocky road I'm traveling right now. I need some help and my friend helped me realize that this may be the place to find it. My posting may be sporadic but know that my intention is to be back here on this blog. Know that I don't want you to feel that you have to comment or respond, but know that I do appreciate the comments. Even the simplest one gives me hope and smiles.

I think part of my problem is I don't like the templates for this blog, so I'm in the process of trying to learn how to modify and create my own. So, you might see a different look each time you visit ... at least until I feel I've found my style and niche. Anybody have ideas for a book I could get that will help me, please share!!!

I'll be back soon!!! Hugs to you all!

Inspiration for the New Year

Each year Ali Edwards and many other scrapbookers choose a "word for the year." This word becomes a focus of activities for the new year. As I have been thinking about 2008 and what I want to achieve for the new year, I found it hard to pick just one word. So, I picked three words to reflect how I am feeling right now.

BELIEVE.
FOCUS.
DO.

As I started thinking about my new year's resolutions, I realized that I needed more than one word to reflect what I hope to accomplish this year. As I considered my choices, I selected my words to reflect my goals. So, instead of just picking one word, I decided to create my own "motto" (so to speak). I want to be able to BELIEVE, FOCUS, and DO.

I need to BELIEVE in myself.
I need to FOCUS on the task at hand.
I need to DO whatever is necessary to accomplish my goals.

I am hoping that this year will be filled with positive changes both in my personal as well as professional life. I hope to create works of art through my scrapbooking and even my blog entries that will reflect my current thoughts and feelings. I want to be happy and healthy (mentally and physically) for the new year.

Have a great start to the new week!