Have you ever ...

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over your head? And while you're in bed, you want to have a half gallon of your favorite ice cream. Then, you'll get out of bed to take a shower and put on fresh pajamas and crawl back into bed. You get up long enough to find something sinfully bad to eat but so good to taste. You pop in that movie that you have wanted to watch but haven't put aside the time to watch it. You cut the ringer off the house phone and put the cell phone on silent.

Yeah, that's the kind of day I would like to have. Instead, I'm stuck at school teaching ... something I normally love. But, right now I just resent the fact that I'm trapped inside this building and not able to do what I want. I am tired. I am frustrated. I just want a "me" day.

Just Plain Tired

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I'm not sure that's a good thing or a bad thing. The jury is out on that one. What I have realized is that I am tired of allowing people walk all over me. I am tired of being the one that always gives and rarely receives. I am tired of being angry. I am tired of being frustrated. I am tired of waiting. I am tired of being tired.

Now, the question becomes "What will I do about it?" That's the problem. I'm not sure. I am making progess in some areas, but in others I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I am acknowledging my personal role in these issues. I have no problem taking responsibility for the part I have played in allowing things to get out of control.

So, what's next? I honestly do not know. I'm sure I'll be back here writing more in the next few weeks as I try to process what I'm working through. Right now I'm just trying to deal with it head on and not avoid the issues at hand.

I'm trying to take care of me right now. And, if that means that I have to be selfish ... oh well.