I am really struggling with a lot of issues right now, a lot of them related to my job. For my close friends, they probably are tired of hearing about the daily trials and tribulations. I have been in my current job since 1999, when our school first opened its doors. In those early days, we wore many hats ... teacher, counselor, administrator ... pretty much whatever was needed. Those days have gotten better, but the list of responsibilities is still quite long. We're a small school with limited funds, so we often have to do a great deal with few resources. I'm okay with that. I'm even good at that. I also love the fact I have grown my program and built it exactly the way I feel it should be run. I am starting to reap the benefits of the hard work.
But, I am soooo tired of dealing with people that don't seem to take their job seriously. I'm so tired of dealing with an assistant administrator that has no interpersonal skills, does not learn from mistakes, and passes the buck. I am tired of cleaning up messes. I am tired of throwing the life preserver. And, I am going to stop.
Now, the question is whether I have the energy to make the change in my own life. The question right now is whether I continue on my path to my administrative endorsement and try to gain an administrative position within my school. The downside of this possibility is taking the chance that are director will leave us in the hands of someone who is totally incompetent. I have general faith that he won't, but there are days when I'm not so sure.
Then, I have the job position opportunity that I posted about previously. It's scary. It's hard for me to make changes. I analyze. I analyze some more. I then over-analyze. Make a decision. Then, change my mind and go back through the process. All the while I am creating a major ball of stress in my stomach.
I know that change is good. Shoot. I'm an engineer and that is the foundation of what I do. It's just easier to apply it in other circumstances rather than something that is too close to home. I'm sure I will update my resumé and put in for the job. The sad part is that there is a part of me that hopes nothing comes of the application. I know that's the part of me that hates the thought of change.
I'll keep you all updated and let you know how things are going.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Cheryl, I think you just took a mega step by talking it out here. As I recall, this time last year you were all internalizing everything. This is something to celebrate!
You do both, you prepare for both routes, then you give it up to God and Doris Day. Que sera sera, ya know? Seems to me that either way, it will be a better job? As in more control of your work hours? I hope so, friend.
I just awarded you something on my blog: You Make My Day, hun. HUGS xoxo
I feel like a shit for not getting online more so we could chat. I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. I think about you all the time and I miss ya!!
(big 'olE hugs!)
Post a Comment