Can I Fast Forward Time?

Okay, I am just tired. I am tired of drama. I am tired of not feeling well. I am tired of all the little trials and tribulations of daily life.

In addition to the work stuff I've been talking about, I hit a deer (or the rear end of a deer) the week before Spring Break. Luckily, no major body damage. It's fixed now, but I have lived in the country for about 12 years and have never hit a deer. Go less than six months with a new car and wham!!!! ARGHHH! On a positive note, loved the body shop I went to.

Then, I get my car back and about a week later, on my way home, a couple of rocks came out of nowhere and nicked my windshield. Can someone please tell me where the bulls-eye is on my car so I can wash it off????? I am so frustrated.

This past week, I discover I have a wisdom tooth that is broken. Not only is it broken but it is half gone. Friday afternoon, a pain shot through me like you wouldn't believe. Now, if you don't know me, you don't understand that this is a TRAUMATIC experience for me. I am TERRIFIED of dentists ... not the general "I don't like shots" phobia that people have with doctors. I have a FEAR of dentists ... to the point where my blood pressure shoots up and I feel as if I am going to break out into hives. But, I was in so much pain, I got my school secretary to call her dentist to get an emergency appointment. Unfortunately, not much he could do but refer me to the oral surgeon. He gave me pain killers and antibiotics to get through the weekend. I went to the oral surgeon today and he confirmed the tooth would have to be extracted. Then, he broke the news that my insurance would not pay for the sedative!!! Oh my goodness! Talk about being ready to break into tears. Then, he says that if he extracts all four of my wisdom teeth, the insurance will cover it. Uhhhh.... NO THANK YOU!!!! I am going to get the oral surgeon to use nitrous oxide and I will have to pay for it, but I know I will not be able to survive without some type of sedative. So, Monday at 2:15 pray for me. I am simply hoping not to go into a full-blown panic attack. Honestly, just talking about it now makes me nervous.

Okay, I feel better now. All of my demons are out of the closet. I hope that things will get better. That's why I felt the need to ask if I could fast forward time.

P.S. Aimeslee, you're the best. I really needed that "You make my day" award. You have to tell me how to put that image on my blog so I can award it to some others.

P.P.S. Jennifer, if you're reading this, I want you to know how much I miss and love you!!! Hugs to you!!!

Change is Hard

I am really struggling with a lot of issues right now, a lot of them related to my job. For my close friends, they probably are tired of hearing about the daily trials and tribulations. I have been in my current job since 1999, when our school first opened its doors. In those early days, we wore many hats ... teacher, counselor, administrator ... pretty much whatever was needed. Those days have gotten better, but the list of responsibilities is still quite long. We're a small school with limited funds, so we often have to do a great deal with few resources. I'm okay with that. I'm even good at that. I also love the fact I have grown my program and built it exactly the way I feel it should be run. I am starting to reap the benefits of the hard work.

But, I am soooo tired of dealing with people that don't seem to take their job seriously. I'm so tired of dealing with an assistant administrator that has no interpersonal skills, does not learn from mistakes, and passes the buck. I am tired of cleaning up messes. I am tired of throwing the life preserver. And, I am going to stop.

Now, the question is whether I have the energy to make the change in my own life. The question right now is whether I continue on my path to my administrative endorsement and try to gain an administrative position within my school. The downside of this possibility is taking the chance that are director will leave us in the hands of someone who is totally incompetent. I have general faith that he won't, but there are days when I'm not so sure.

Then, I have the job position opportunity that I posted about previously. It's scary. It's hard for me to make changes. I analyze. I analyze some more. I then over-analyze. Make a decision. Then, change my mind and go back through the process. All the while I am creating a major ball of stress in my stomach.

I know that change is good. Shoot. I'm an engineer and that is the foundation of what I do. It's just easier to apply it in other circumstances rather than something that is too close to home. I'm sure I will update my resumé and put in for the job. The sad part is that there is a part of me that hopes nothing comes of the application. I know that's the part of me that hates the thought of change.

I'll keep you all updated and let you know how things are going.

Lots to Chat About

Well, I was trying to be diligent in posting messages on my blog, and I did okay in the beginning. Then, life sort of took control and threw me some curve balls that left me struggling, trying to keep my head above water. Now I'm ready to get back in the game and see if I can keep on track.

I just got back to school yesterday after spring break. Spring break wasn't really what I had planned. I had hit a deer coming to school the week before spring break, so I had to get that damage fixed. Luckily, there was no major body damage and the deer kept right on going. I have lived in the country for over 12 years and have never hit a deer. I have a new car for less than six months and WHAM! Such is life.

I had planned to go to Charlottesville to visit friends and my godson. That didn't happen as planned thanks to the unexpected car repairs. And, as it turns out I ended up spending the first half of spring break in bed with a nasty sinus infection. It never fails that I get sick during winter and spring breaks. It's as if my body is telling me that it's okay to be sick since I'm not at school ... it can ruin my fun and free time, but heaven forbid I get sick while I'm at school.

Then, I spent time trying to get some things accomplished for my summer program. I went to the National Institute for Aerospace to help the project director select students for the summer NASA mentorship. I also went to the Virginia Institute of Marine Science to get the same information for the VIMS mentorship. We've picked an excellent group of kids, so I'm hopeful this summer will be extremely productive.

I did go visit some scrapping friends at a crop on Friday. It was so weird for me to just stop by, eat lunch, and leave. It was actually a bit depressing. I enjoy my crop weekends so much. But, on the bright side, I did get a Sizzix machine for $10. Mine had cracked and wasn't cutting chipboard as well as it had been. I have been looking for a replacement for a while with no luck. I also got to eat dinner with another friend before I came back home. All in all, it was a good day.

I did have my Evaluation of Instruction class during spring break. I enjoy the class and am learning quite a bit, but the workload is insane. Every time I turn around additional work (not on the syllabus) is added to our plates. I don't mind doing the work, but it's difficult to know what the professor wants when she doesn't provide us with a rubric or assignment sheet. All of the assignments are given orally. We also rarely get an exemplar against which we can compare our work. That's difficult, particularly since we don't always get timely feedback.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the Director of NIA printed an employment opportunity for me from their website. It's a Program Director's position for managing new educational TV programming that NIA is undertaking. These TV segments will be created for elementary, middle, and high school classrooms. It's an incredible position, but it's also scary to think about applying for such a high level job. I have to believe the Director believes I'm qualified, because I didn't even know about the job until I went to visit him on a totally unrelated topic. I am going to update my resumé and submit it for review. What's the worst that can happen? I don't get the job. Oh well. I don't have it now either.

I always believe things happen for a reason, so I am hoping this job opportunity has presented itself to me, if for no other reason, to show me that there is something else out there for me. I do want to stay in an educationally-based field, but I'm tired. I know it's time to move out of the classroom and on to a more administrative role. That's why I'm taking my endorsement level courses right now. And, if things work out as I've planned, I could potentially have my endorsement by Spring 2009. The question is whether I want to stay where I am or move on to other pastures. I'm going to have to take that one day at a time.

I am working like crazy at school. The end of the third quarter is right around the corner. I have grading to complete. I also am trying to keep my seniors from losing their minds. They're receiving their college acceptance (or rejection) letters and are starting to panic. So, they have been distracted. I have to keep them on track and what a challenge that is becoming. I also need to start planning graduation. June 13th will be here before I know it. Oh my.

Well, with all of that said, I need to sign off for now. I'm hoping to update more frequently and I do appreciate all of you that check in on me here at my blog. I look forward to chatting soon!!!

Hugs and have a great day!

Spring is Just Around the Corner

Spring is just around the corner and I absolutely can't wait. I am so happy that the sun is out when I get up in the morning and is still up when I get ready to come home from school. This winter was really hard on me with respect to the seasonal depression. I was working some longer hours at school and felt as if I never got to see sunlight. This weekend we "spring forward" and it will stay light longer. I can't wait. Soccer and tennis seasons have started at school and I'm hoping to make it to a few games and matches.

Spring break is just a couple of weeks away but it can't get here soon enough. Of course I'm already thinking about things I want to do and my calendar seems to be filling up more quickly than I need it to. We'll see what happens this week before I make my final plans for spring break. I may need to take a step back and just stay close to home and rest. I need to get a boost of energy to complete the school year.

I'm gearing up to start major planning for my summer program. I hate dealing with new people in housing at the university. I have to fight battles I have fought in previous years. Seems like a total waste of time. I have a lot of new people in the picture this year, so I need to make sure I stay on top of the details. The next couple of weeks are critical in planning. Then, things will lighten up a bit.

I think I understand why I dropped all extra-curricular activities in the past. I have so much on my plate in the classroom as well as the added administrative responsibilities I have that I have little time for these activities. I definitely need to reassess that for the fall.

Okay, I'm going to take a lead from one of my friends and make a "to do" list here. I'm hoping it might encourage me to get my rear in gear and take care of a lot of these activities that need to be completed.

I hope everyone is having a great day!!!